The Your stories blogs are a place where women can bravely and authentically tell their story as it really is. We invite women to collide with Jesus and share how He is meeting them, transforming them and redeeming them. We hope this “your story” meets you in yours…
“True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.”
Our world these days makes comparisons too easy, and too often I’m caught in the trap of feeling like I’m just not enough. It happens a thousand different ways, and I know I’m not alone. Here are some of the ways I tell myself I just don’t measure up:
- I’m in a meeting at work and someone is giving really great ideas. I feel insecure that I’m not qualified for this job and can’t think of anything good to contribute. My words start to reflect my insecurity and I poke holes in the other person’s ideas so that they don’t sound as good.
- I go to the beach with my husband and see really attractive, basically naked women and feel really insecure about my body and appearance. When my husband goes to show me affection later, I squirm away because I feel fat and ugly and not enough.
- I go to a wedding and feel under dressed when I look at the other guests. I waste the whole evening judging how others are dressed, hoping to find someone who looks as frumpy, or hopefully frumpier, than me.
- I see some friends at work having lunch and they look like they’re having a really great time. I feel left out and like they are better friends with each other than they are with me. Instead of joining them, I eat at my desk.
- And here’s one I’m sure we all know: Facebook. I go on Facebook and see someone posting about something romantic and sweet their husband did. Suddenly I’m comparing my life to theirs and then feeling resentful of my husband for the rest of the day for reasons he doesn’t even know or understand (or deserve). I see someone’s crafty craft on Instagram and feel uncreative and lazy and like I love tv too much. Someone posts about their amaaaaazing group of bffs and I feel lonely and question my own friendships. A friend shares about how they love their 5 am morning devotional time with the Lord, and comparing that to my sporadic and inconsistent practices makes me feel like a lesser Christian.
I could go on and on and on. All day, every day, I am worried about people’s judgments, comparing my life to the highlight reel that others put on Facebook, feeling not enough in almost every possible way. When I was working on this and thinking of these examples, it brought me to tears. What an exhausting way to live. Constantly trying to prove myself against unrealistic measures. My identity is often falsely rooted in the fickle opinions of others and my own hard criticisms.
When I find myself struggling with comparison and feeling ‘not enough’ it’s because, in that moment, my identity is rooted somewhere other than in Christ. I have forgotten my true worth and where my value stems from. Luckily for me, God gives me words of truth about my value and identity:
- I am the light of the world and the salt of the earth.
- I am a beloved daughter of the most high king.
- I am a branch of the true vine.
- I have been set free from the law of sin and death.
- I am a saint.
- I am a temple of the Holy Spirit.
- I am chosen, holy and blameless.
- I am adopted, redeemed, forgiven and cared for by a completely loving, merciful and giant God.
Let that sink in for a minute. That is who I am (and who you are!). Not my hair-do or craft project or job title or wife score or grades or looks or number of friends. I am in Christ. That is who I am.
Don’t those situations I read through before suddenly seem more insignificant and petty? When my identity, value and worth is rooted in Christ, I am set free from anxious self-promotion, from comparison, from insecurity. When I think about my heavenly and eternal identity, my outfit suddenly doesn’t matter. I don’t have to read into and analyze a sideways glance someone gave me. When I think of my body as a temple of the Holy Spirit, suddenly my love handles aren’t a big deal. Maybe the Holy Spirit likes my love handles, I don’t know. And when I view myself as a beloved daughter made in God’s image, it also helps me see others in that way. When someone succeeds, I can be genuinely happy for them without comparison or jealousy.
Simply put, we are enough. We are more than enough. And we can rest in that truth. So I invite you to step back from your insecurities and imperfections, and to rest in knowing that we are enough in Christ.