The Gift and Ache of Motherhood

Let’s talk about the power of a mother.

These findings are backed by decades of research from Harvard, the CDC, and leading child development experts. Here are just a few worth noting:

• A mother-child relationship is one of the strongest predictors of lifelong happiness.
• 90% of the brain is developed by age 5 and a mother’s care helps shape it.
• Nurturing mothers lower a child’s risk of anxiety, depression, and behavioral issues by up to 40%.
• Kids with responsive mothers handle stress up to 2x better.
• Strong maternal connection is linked to better health and lower disease risk.
• A mother’s voice shapes a daughter’s self-worth, body image, and identity.
• Involved mothers increase a child’s academic success by 30–50%.
• Strong maternal presence is tied to lower crime and delinquency.
• The absence of nurturing care raises the risk of depression, addiction, and chronic illness.

Now, you might be reading this and feel an overwhelming amount of pressure if you are a mom. But what I want you and me to feel instead is a deep sense of privilege.

If someone calls you “mom,” you have been given a powerful opportunity to influence and shape another human life. And that role is a big, weighty, beautiful responsibility. Let us not forget who gave it to us… the Lord Himself. As believers, we trust that God knew exactly what He was doing when He placed our sons and daughters in our care. He knew exactly who we are and who they would be.

I also want to pause and acknowledge something else. For some, the woman who had the most influence on our lives is also the one who hurt us most. That is real. And it’s painful. And I don’t want to skip over that. My prayer is that in those hurt places, we would lean into the Lord’s compassion, healing, and power. He doesn’t just see our pain, He grieves with us. And He is able to heal what hurt us and empower us to do different, be different, and mom different.

I look at Aidan and Bella and feel madly in love with them. I thank God for these two, my greatest gifts. And at the same time, I feel the ache of what my mother and I didn’t have but were meant to. I wish it were different, but it’s not. That’s what’s real. And we have a good, good God who can handle what’s real.

We are His daughters. And not only does He trust us with being mothers, aunts, nurturers and mentors, I believe He looks at us and delights in us. Just like we delight in our own children.

“He brought me out into a spacious place; He rescued me because He delighted in me.” Psalm 18:19

Let the Lord’s delight in you heal something that was hurt.

Let His delight meet you in the grief and celebrate with you in the gratitude.

Let His delight remind you that you are cherished and adored.

Let Him look at you the way you look at your children.

And let Him remind you He is madly in love with you. Because He is. 💛

XOXO,

 

P.S. I shared more of this story in my Founder Letter—if you want to receive these before they’re published, you can join here.

Whether thinking about motherhood brings joy, pressure, grief, gratitude, or everything in between, here are a few of our favorite resources to meet you right where you are.

• When you’re short on time: 5 Minute Devotions Free Download
• When you’re carrying grief: Podcast on Grief with Clarissa Moll
• When guilt won’t let go: Podcast on Mom Guilt with Alli Worthington
• When you feel like you’ve blown it: Podcast For Moms Who Feel They Messed up with Michelle Konson
• When you’re in a new season: Podcast on the Pain and Hope of the Empty Nest with Jim Burns
• When you’re ready to break the cycle: Podcast on Generational Trauma with Melanie Shankle