A Chapter I Never Wanted to be Part of My Story
At the age of 59 I was feeling empty and wondering what I was going to do with the rest of my life. People were asking me, Barb when are you going to retire? I didn’t have an answer. I prayed to God asking him to give me a passion and purpose. Surely he could still use me in this later season of life.
Soon after I was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to have a mastectomy. Due to complications I was unable to be immediately reconstructed as I had hoped. I was devastated, embarrassed at my new body image and frustrated with myself that it mattered this much
In this chapter, I began to believe… that I was ugly, superficial and useless. I didn’t want to be seen by anybody, I was embarrassed to go out in public and was disappointed in myself that I cared that much about how I looked.
Just when I thought the story was over, God purposed that hard season of my life by… showing me that my God, the God of the universe cared about even the littlest things in my life. He cared that I had lost a breast and felt inadequate and He still had a plan for me. He sent a special gift of a Knitted Knocker made by a friend. This knitted knocker was soft, light, beautiful, huggable and best of all was made by someone who cared. That gift of comfort and dignity changed EVERYTHING for me. I put that handmade beautiful knocker in my bra removed my loose fitting jacket and reengaged with life. Barb was back, not Barb with cancer but Barb. I knew immediately that I needed to make these knitted knockers available to doctor’s offices so women could receive these gifts of comfort and dignity made by caring individuals at a difficult time of their journey. I now had the Passion and Purpose I had asked God for!
Since that moment in time almost 15 years ago Knitted Knockers Support Foundation has provided over 1 million free knitted knockers to women all over the country. We are providing knockers in 78 countries and supporting over 2,450 medical facilities.
We hear daily from recipients what it has meant to them receiving these wonderful gifts from complete strangers. In addition we hear of the passion and purpose it has brought to those volunteers making the knockers.
I want to make my life count by…… acknowledging that God can use it all, the good, the bad, and the ugly. God turned my pain into purpose and changed not only my life but hundreds of thousands of others. I don’t think He is done with me yet. I want to partner with Him to live out his purpose in my life and live out my remaining days with passion and purpose even to my last breath.
