Have you ever wondered who you are apart from your roles, accomplishments, or the expectations of others?
Whether you’re navigating an empty nest, grieving a life transition, or simply feeling exhausted from trying to prove your worth, this conversation is an invitation to pause. Spiritual director and author Marilyn Vancil shares how God meets us in our deepest questions of identity and gently invites us to lay down the false stories we’ve believed so we can discover the freedom of becoming who He created us to be.
Episode Summary
After decades serving in ministry and raising four children, Marilyn Vancil entered a season where she no longer recognized herself outside of the roles she’d faithfully embraced. That painful season became the beginning of a deeper journey with Jesus—one that led her to spiritual direction, the Enneagram, and ultimately a richer understanding of what it means to find your identity in Christ.
In this honest conversation, Marilyn joins Willow to explore why self-awareness is such an essential part of spiritual growth. Together they discuss why our strongest emotional reactions often point toward deeper wounds, how our protective patterns can keep us from experiencing true freedom, and why Jesus’ invitation to “lose your life to find it” isn’t about becoming less yourself—it’s about becoming the truest version of yourself in Him.
If you’ve ever felt lost after a major life transition, struggled to know who you are apart from what you do, or longed for lasting freedom from old beliefs and unhealthy patterns, this episode offers practical wisdom and deep hope. You’ll be reminded that God isn’t finished with your story. He’s continually inviting you into greater freedom, healing, and transformation.
Meet Marilyn Vancil
Marilyn is a spiritual director, life coach, trained Enneagram teacher, and the author of Beyond the Enneagram and Self to Lose, Self to Find. For more than three decades, she’s helped people discover their God-given identity through spiritual formation, biblical teaching, and self-awareness. Rather than using the Enneagram simply as a personality assessment, Marilyn approaches it as a discipleship tool that helps uncover false beliefs, unhealthy patterns, and the places where Jesus invites deeper healing. Her passion is helping people experience lasting transformation by living more fully into the person God created them to be.
Key Takeaways
- How do you find your identity in Christ instead of your roles? Learn why seasons of transition often reveal where we’ve placed our identity—and how God meets us there.
- Why do emotional triggers matter? Discover how your strongest reactions can reveal deeper wounds that Jesus wants to heal.
- What keeps us stuck in unhealthy patterns? Marilyn explains how our protective “false self” once kept us safe but can eventually keep us from flourishing.
- What does Jesus really mean when He says to lose your life? A fresh biblical perspective on surrender that leads to freedom instead of fear.
- How can self-awareness deepen your relationship with God? Practical ways to pause, listen, and recognize God’s invitations toward transformation.
How This Episode Will Encourage You
If you’ve been feeling lost, overlooked, or unsure who you are anymore, you’re not behind and you’re not forgotten. God is still writing your story, and He’s inviting you into greater freedom than you’ve ever imagined.
If today’s conversation encouraged you, subscribe to the Collide Podcast, leave a review, and share this episode with a friend who may need the reminder that her identity has never been found in what she does—but in whose she is.
Connect with Marilyn Vancil
Website: marilynvancil.com
Instagram: @marilynvancil
